Everyone talks about love all day but almost all of them are ambiguous about it. Many poets and authors tell romantic stories with princesses and princes or ladies and gentlemen living in castles in wealth.
But you can not answer the question “what is love?” even if you have read many love stories.
So I tell you something which I think about love. Maybe it is not suitable for you but they are perspectives. Because I can not explain for myself by reading love stories, I read psychological books. After that I find something great, they help me to answer the question “what is love?”.
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Love is a feeling.
When someone tells me “love is a feeling.”, I don’t really agree with them even if I do not oppose it. Of course, love is a feeling but it is not all parts. Emotion is the first step to begin a love but sometimes it is a killer that destroys it.
“Why?” And most younger people ask the same question and do nothing to solve problems. When I was a young girl, I wondered “why did I have negative emotions?” and “how can I control it?”.
I asked my friends but they were too busy to love someone. I asked my older coworkers but they were busy fighting with their spouses. Who else can I ask? And I chose to read books.
After reading some love books, I realize some truths which no one understands and spends time researching. I am certain that emotion is just one piece of a big cake. If you let emotion control your love, you never have happiness as you wish.
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How do hormones impact feelings?
We always know some different points between women and men. One of them is hormones. In “Men chase, women choose” book, the author wrote about hormones that impact how you love. After reading 5 chapters, you can know that men love women when 03 hormones attack them, one of them is testosterone. And women love men when 02 hormones attack them, one of them is estrogen.
While women love men easily and quickly when they are attacked by hormones, men love sex because testosterone controls their actions. When men wanna love women, they need 03 hormones, one of them is dopamine. Dopamine is understood as the feeling of reward. Do you realize a different point here?
Men need to spend enough time before loving someone although women love someone easily. It is not women’s fault. It is hormones that impact feelings.
A small notice is that you should not have sex too early if you want true love.
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What do you desire from love?
Have you ever thought about what you desire from love?
If you have thought about it, you should write them down. If you need a warm man, please write it on paper. No miracle happens but you can arrange what you desire from 1 to end with priority descending. You can use a list as a criterion to determine who is the man for you.
Why does it happen like that? I can explain a little about that.
When writing your list, you think about good points and useful ones for you. You can think about points that you choose clearly without being impacted by hormones. Your list is your goals in love. If you do not know what you want, you never gain them.
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Figure out your way to true love.
After you read the third point, do you write your list down? If you say yes, I will tell you what our next step is.
If you want a romantic man like an amateur singer, please join an art class now. If you want a smart man, find him in city libraries, not a noisy pub.
That is why the next step is finding ways to achieve goals. You must find suitable things with each point in the list and act.
Do not stay in bed and dream about Mr. Right because it never comes true. No pain, no gain, girls.
To sum up, I wanna tell you about how to find your true love. It is somewhere and waiting for you. An important thing is you must keep trying and do the right things.
If you let emotions control your actions, it is the worst fault in life. Emotion is not a decisive point. A good process does not only help you meet a good man but also deeply impacts your relationship.
No good process is too short. It should be long enough to cause his brain to produce adequate hormones. That is what I read in the “Men chase, women choose” book.
What do you think about what I write?
Carmen
