Some of my friends are always busy solving someone’s problems because they can not say “no” when their friends ask them to help. Maybe your life becomes worse than before because you do not know how to say “no” to someone and some problems.
I used to live like that until I realized I needed a change in my life if I wanted a better life. From what I know, I think how to say “no” to everything is not my problem.
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What is a problem or a core value?
First, I want you to think about your troubles. Why can you not say “no” to another one? What is the matter with you?
Everyone has 24 hours every day. If you spend time on solving someone’s troubles, how much time do you spend on yourself? And then you can not take care of your life, your family well. That is an important problem that you need to care about.
When you realize it’s whose trouble, you make correct decisions.
When bad things attack your life, you must have solutions. Everyone’s troubles are not your troubles. Let them live their lives. It does not make you worse than before. Because they need to learn how to live their lives when troubles happen. And you are not a superhero to save them from bad things. The only thing which they need to be their responsibilities with life, not you.
Just say “no” and drink some coffee if a day is a weekend.
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Why must you help them?
If solving their troubles is your business or take a benefit, you should do it well. Unless it is not like that, please think about it carefully before agreeing with any requests.
Someone has difficult things when they make decisions. You can give them some useful advice but not give them solutions. If you give them solutions, you create their bad habit. They never think of anything before asking for your help. I knew someone like that and they waste my time on stupid thinking too much.
If you wanna spend time enjoying life, never be always a good friend. Sometimes they must know how to live alone and solve their troubles. You are not their shadows to be beside them every time.
If you are a good guy, you can help them 3 times. After that, you should make decisions for yourself. Can you spend time helping them all of life?
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What do you gain after solving troubles?
Have you ever asked yourself about what you gain after solving troubles? Do you have any answers? Answers are so important to make decisions before helping them or not.
Useful answers are you can give them a good way in their lives not helpful solutions for their troubles. “Teach a man to fish” is my favourite quote. It tells you to give someone methods instead of options. And you must request them to consider something.
When they find their solutions, that is your achievement. Stop doing everything for everyone. The best thing you give them is your guide. That is it. Do not think too much. You can not live their lives. Living your life better is necessary.
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Focus on your life
I did tell you above that you just have 24 hours every day and please make full use of it. When you spend time on someone, you waste your time. You only have a good life when you have enough time to take care of yourself, your family, and your relationships. If you always waste time on stupid things, your life will be worse one day. Do you want to be like that?
Focusing on your life does not make you selfish. It improves your mind and brings better things to you. When you have a better vision, you can help deserved people.
Someone asked me why I did not help them although I donate to homeless children. Do you know any reasons?
My answer is that you have a home, eat three meals a day, sleep on a soft bed, and never know how cold the weather is in winter. Your parents take you to school although you hate that. Besides, homeless children are hungry, ill, non-educated, and vulnerable. They wanna go to school but it’s impossible. When they can do that, they always try their best to become useful people for society. They are the nation’s future.
Phan Boi Chau – a famous patriot said that “Khai dân trí – Chấn dân khí – Hậu dân sinh”. I agree with him and believe in what he did in history. I hope homeless children can become better people and are strong enough to overcome challenges.
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Everyone has their lives and should have responsibility.
I think that responsibilities are all of the things that you need to complete. If you are fully aware of your responsibilities, you could choose a utilized way. You will know who your true friends are and what you should do.
I believe that finding our destinies out in life is a decisive thing. Pursuing our destinies is the most important mission. That is why everyone should take responsibility for their lives.
Finally, I wanna say that you should focus on your life instead of wasting time on other troubles. Maybe that gives you some benefits but I do not think it is positive.
If someone asks you for your time, just say “no”. It is smart to refuse to spend your time on their troubles. Everything always has its way. Do not think about it too much. Spending time on your life, not others’ life.
Carmen
